


Bez tebya ne poydot.. // It won't work without you

by Koyiko



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut, r6, rainbow six - Freeform, rainbow six siege
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-10 22:30:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18417179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koyiko/pseuds/Koyiko
Summary: Victoria 'Queenie" Kovacs is a half-hungarian and half-russian, 31 years old, highly qualified, Spetsnaz specialist. Member of the Rainbow team for 4 years. She never thought that she will fall in love with one of the handsome men. Yet she is here, falling into pieces while her clock is ticking around her neck... Will she become strong, and finally be happy in her life, or..?DISCLAIMERI own none of the pictures used in this story, nor the title of the games/SWAT team. Credit to the development team of the Rainbow Six games for the names and characters.This story is owned by me and may not be used anywhere else without written permission©2019





	1. Author's note

Hi there!

After all of the smuts and the fluffs on this website I decided that finally I will write my own story. Please forgive me but english is not my first language and this is my first foreign languaged story from me, but I hope you will like it.

All of the comments and likes are appreciated and warmly welcomed! :)


	2. BIO

Hi there! :)

Before the first chapter I think it's time to introduce you to my OC! :)

Full name: Victoria Lara Kovacs  
Nickname: Queenie  
Born: 1987.01.11., Budapest (HU)  
Age: 32  
Nationality: Hungarian (she is half russian from her mother and half hungarian from her father)  
Organization: Spetsnaz (specialist)  
Height: 5,54" (1.69m)  
Weight: 147,7lbs (67kg)  
Hair color: Red  
Eye color: Greyish-blue  
Cup size: E  
Languages: hungarian, russian, french, spanish and german

Primary weapon: AK-12 (AK200)  
Secondary weapon: MP-443

Biography:  
Victoria was born to a well-to-do family. Her mother is a retired military nurse and his father was a lawyer. She has two older brothers who followed their fathers carrier.   
When she was 13 her father died from a stroke and her mother decided that it's the best to leave Hungary and move to Vladivostok, Russia. Because she didn't know any russian words it was hard to find her place at the school. She became a loner, had no friends and her grades used to go downhill.  
When she went to high school she finally spoke some russian and had her first boyfriend.   
When she and her boyfriend graduated and moved to Moscow together she felt she finally find her place.  
After 2 years together at Moscow, when she finally wanted to have a child with her boyfriend that's when the boy told her he will join the army she felt apart.  
She broke up with the boy, and leaved alone for a long one year. She believed that she is worthless and she has no luck. She lost everything.  
One year after the painful broke up she went to Paris where she studied music and got her diplome as a music teacher.  
One day when she was almost at a suicide attempt she got a letter from his old boyfriend. That's when she decided she will join the army too and hoped she finally will find the purpose of her life or she will finally will die. The military tool everything from her, maybe it will give it all back.

Nickname:  
At the beginning of her army days she was really useless and scared from everything but her Major saw a potential in her and grabbed her out of everything to train her at his own.   
In a very short time she became a really good fighter, got an enrollment to a Spetsnaz and in a very short time she became the part of the highly concealed Spetsnaz Specialist group.  
She got her nickname Queenie from his Major because of her beauty, her headship and because of her perfection at the defensive and attacker practices.

Her ability:  
Second Chance  
She is a relatively supportive operator. Once in the match she can use her ability, which revives one of her dead teammates. Although it requires half of her HP - which the revived teammate gets.


	3. Chapter one - Afraid of losing

Victoria never ever imagined that she would be there. That one day she would be one of the high qualified terrorist hunters. That she would be the part of the Russian army.  
She thought she will have a peaceful life. That after the collage she would be a teacher or a musician. That she would be a proud mother. That she would have a faithful and loving husband.  
She imagined everything but not this. She never imagined that she would be there in the middle of one of the riskiest situation. Four man and one woman against twenty-two terrorist. Okay. Back in her army days, before she had been chosen for this job, she had to deal more enemy than this... Alone. And she dealt with it..  
Because when she applied for the Russian army she was afraid. She was scared from everything. She was heartbroken. She just wanted to die.  
Then she met her fellow commander, one of her best friends. The one who taught her to be brave, never afraid. That she does all of this for a greater good. She saves lifes. Sometimes a million ones...

So no. She wasn't afraid because of her life. She was willing to die for the mission. She was afraid for her allies.  
Okay. They were highly trained too - that's why they were the part of the Rainbow Team. They did their best. They were careful. She couldn't wish for more. They knew how to work as a team. They look after each other. But sometimes they got hurt. They got scars... or even worst. Sometimes they just died before her eyes.

\- Are you okey, _mon chérie_?

She caught up her head and took a deep breath. She nodded because she can't even speak. Why she was so nervous?

\- _Chérie_?!

The man's voice was so close to hear ear that she can almost feel it on her face. It was impossible because of her helmet but she could swear she feels it.

\- I am okey Doc. Just my mind wondered...  
\- And what exactly?

She gulped and sighed then looked in the man's brown eyes.

\- I am just afraid... That... One of you will get hurt. Or...  
\- Hey, ma Belle! No one will die here today. We take care of each other. The only one who will shed a blood will be the enemy.

She nodded and tightly hugged the doctor. She just needed those words. That encouragement. When they finally separated she went to her position and gripped her riffle.

\- _**Everyone in position?**_

A strong and deep man's voice echod in her comm. She took a deep breath, then pushed the button on it.

\- **Queenie** is ready and in position.  
\- **Doc** is ready and in position.  
\- **Jäger** is ready and in position.  
\- **Smoke** is ready and in position.

When everyone checked in Victoria's pulse got higher. The last of them didn't answered. Kapkan didn't give any information about himself.

\- **Kapkan?**

Her voice was thin and a little bit cracked. She was afraid that her karma found her. She can't lose one of her closest friend, one of her teammates, and her longtime crush.

\- Kapkan, please answer!

She demanded and rose up from her place. She was ready to go and find him. Hopefully alive. Her knees were weak as she stood. Her throat went dry and her eyes filled with tears... But she knew she can't go. The mission was more important for her commanders and for the world than one of her friends.

\- Kapkan, answer, or she will kill everyone. And I am afraid we will die too, if you just died. I just promised her that no one will die. You are no exception.

\- I am ready and in position. My comm just died for a few minutes.

She loosened her standing and went back to her position. Oh God knows what would she really do if the man wouldn't answer. Maybe she would really go in a rage and kill everyone who is in her way. Not only because of her hard crushing on Maxim. No. Her mixed Russian and Hungarian blood didn't help either...  
She pulled down her glasses on her helmet and sighed.  
Okay. She need to be in the zone. She need to be in the killing zone!

\- They are coming! Front door and back too! Stay focused!

Smoke's voice echoed on the comm. The next thing what Queenie recognised was heavy gunfire. A really heavy one.

\- 3 out!- Jäger shouted

God. They just needed to protect one fucking bomb. Not a hard task. Then why is her heart pounded in her chest so hard?

\- 2 more out!  
\- 5!

She just stood on her place and waited for the enemy. But nobody came.

\- 2! – shouted Maxim – _Blyat!_ Grenade!

She froze when she heard a loud explosion and her heart stopped to beat. NO! Gustave told her that nobody will die today!  
The next thing what brought her back from the shock was a heavy fire next to her. And that was the point when she totally loosed it. That's when she went in a full rage mood. She shooted everyone who was in her way. And hoped that her teammates won't cross her way.  
She didn't care what her teammates shout from her comm. She went full psycho mood and she wanted to find her Russian man.  
She didn't count how many died from her gunfire. She was desperate to find Maxim. To find him alive.

\- Queenie! Stop! Get back in position!

But she just went ahead. Went? She runned. And when she found Maxim she could only scream in pain. The Russian's body laid on the floor, the blood oozed from his torso and.. oh God! He barely breathed.

\- Gustave! I need you help ASAP! – she almost screamed when she kneeled next to her crush. – Maxim is in a really bad condition!

She felt as her eyes filling with tears, her throat starts to burn and the pain was the worst feeling that she ever felt.

\- Please,don't die here! You can't just leave me here alone, **Lyubov**!

She screamed as she cupped the man's face. _No! He can't die! God, she won't love him or anybody again if he survive this!_  
When she heard a few steps from the door she jumped above Maxim and tried to protect him from any more harm. And she knew she did it right when she got a fucking painful shot in her left leg. She screamed from the pain. From the pain what she got from the thought of losing Kapkan. The pain in her leg was nothing for her right now. It was nothing because she felt how cold the man was under her, how he took a breath less often and how his blood from his torso was soaking her uniform... If he dies right now then she don't want to live anymore. She can't lose the love of her life.. AGAIN. It was enough pain in her life once. She could not live again after an another one.

\- Lyubov!- she hugged him tightly. - Don't leave me, please!

She cried with her last energy before everything went dark. The last thing she felt that two strong arms sneak around her waist and pulled her off from Kapkan. _No! She can't leave him! She... She just need it to be a bad dream. She wanted to wake up. Please!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> So this is the first chapter of my own Rainbow Six fanfiction. As I said english is not my first language so please be gentle with me!  
> I know it's a little bit short and a little bit strange, but I never really wrote action before and I only have the rest of the story in my head but not the beginning!  
> I hope you like it and let me tell you that all of the critics and comments are welcomed! Hopefully I will bring an another chapter at the weekend!  
> Stay safe guys! ❤️


	4. Chapter two - Accidently

_There is one thing for sure what we know about pain. It can be mental and physical. Both can tear apart the people. It can make the people feel that they are going to die, they are falling apart and they wish to be dead instead. And what about both kind of pain in the same time? It's the worst. You feel you can't breathe, your heart breaks in million pieces, your wounds on your body aches nonstop. They remind you about what happened in the past._

As Victoria's eyes opened she felt numb for a few seconds and as her memories came back she really hoped that she died. That the place where she lied flat, where the walls and the ceiling were bright white... That's the afterlife. But no.  
She slowly lifted up her left arm to blind out the lights, and as she tried to lift up her left leg too she gasped. The pain flushed through her body and her eyes filled with tears. Then she remembered everything. The cold body of her love beneath her, the lots of blood which seemed to never end, the shot in her leg and how she begged for Maxim to stay alive. She didn't feel the same pain in her legs as now because of the adrenaline in her veins. But now? Oh god. It hurt like hell.

\- Hey, _Chérie_! You finally awake!

She looked to her right side where the voice came from. Gustave's smile was warm and she shaked when he gently stroked her right arm. He seemed relieved as she started to cry. In pain and in worry.

\- Be patient with your left leg. You got a really bad shot. I could hardly get out the bullet. Some of your fibrillas damaged really bad. And you lost a lots of-  
\- I don't care about myself Gustave! – she cried painfully – How is Maxim? Is he...

She bit her words as she thought about the worst. If the doctor will say that the Russian died...

\- He is alive and well. Thanks to you! – he chuckled and stroked her hand again. – He got a really deep wound near his liver but nothing important damaged. He got a few more scars to his collection here and there, but he is awaken now.

She buried her face in her left palm as she started to sob. Her heart relieved and she was happier than ever in her life. Maxim is alive and that was the most important thing right now. She could swear she barely felt the pain in her leg.

\- Can I... Can I see him? – she shuttered under her palm

She couldn't stop the tears and the sobs what escaped from her lips. She felt so weak right now.

\- Sorry but you need to rest. It will take a few days until you can move your leg to the side of your bed, and god knows how long will take you to stand on that leg. As I told you your fibrillas damaged badly and you lost a lot of blood too.  
\- Please... I need to see him. I need to see with my eyes that he is really alive. I need to know!  
\- He is really alive.

An another voice rang from the door and she suddenly rose up to a sitting position. Then she really regretted the sudden decision. The pain in her leg took away her vision for a few seconds and a painful scream escaped her lips.

\- You should do as your doctor said. And you should did what your commander said!  
\- Take easy on her, Glaz!

Gustave shaked hands with the another man then they changed a few whispers between eachother then the doctor left.

\- You could have died...

Glaz's voice was shaking as he spoken and sat next to the woman. Victoria laid back to the bed and sighed. She didn't needed a scolding right now. She just needed to rest, get better soon and finally see the another Russian soldier.

\- And he could have too if I-  
\- I know and I am grateful that you saved his life! But you should have listened to the commands in your comms! You put everyone in danger with your action!

The man grabbed her hand and tried to find her glaze between her tears.

\- Is somebody else injured?  
\- No, but-  
\- Maxim would be dead if I don't find him! – she tried to stop her tears – He would...  
\- Are you in love with him?

The man's question was so sudden. She couldn't breath or blink in a moment.

\- Timur...  
\- You called him Lyubov! Why did you?!

Timur's voice was demanding and flustered. His face showed a pure anger and jealousy.

\- I don't say I am.. but what if I say yes? Why is it a big problem?

She tried to push herself up a little bit in her bed and when Glaz offered a help she just angrily shaked of his hands.

\- What if then, Timur? What? I wanted to keep my feelings for myself! I never wanted to tell anybody! Then why does it a big fucking problem if I called him that in the moment? Does it change anything?! I would do the same for Gustave or Marius or anybody else!

Her voice became hysterical as she spoke, her tears started to fall again. She hoped that atleast Glazkov will understand her decisions. After everything he was the last who should make harsh opinions. He didn't have the right to judge her...

\- You are right. But please, promise me... If you feel anything for him, more than friendship – the man's voice cracked at the second half of the sentence – Then... You won't let your feelings to make you such a decisions alone.  
\- You would did the same for me.

Hell he would! He would do anything for her. He would even die for her. That's why he was so scared when he saw her almost dead body hanging in James' arms. He understood the woman's feelings. More than anybody. He just couldn't let her die because of a fucking stupid feeling.

\- I would. But please... Be careful next time! And thank you for saving my comrade!

Victoria smiled on his last words and invited him for a hug. Oh god! He never thought he can die in a damn hug. Her body was so warm. Her skin so soft. And her smell besides the medicines... It was heavenly as always. He felt so stupid as he hold her in his arms. He wanted to do it for forever. Only if he could...  
The moment when she took of her left arm from his back he stood back. Her red hair was a little messy around her body, her beautiful blue eyes shined like the most beautiful diamond in the daylight from her endless tears, and her pink full-lips showed him one of the most beautiful smile in the world.

\- I will tell him you are okey too.  
\- Thank you, Tim!

He just nodded and walked to the door. Before he exited the room he looked back from the doorframe and let out a silent sigh. Maxim is one of the luckiest person in the world. He doesn't even deserve the love what she could give him. Nobody does. And Timur wasn't an expectation.. And if Maxim break her heart... Or anybody else... He would have no mercy.

When he closed the door behind him he didn't know where to go. He wasn't tired. Wasn't even hungry. He didn't want to work out. He just wanted to stay with everybody's princess. But he promised her he will tell Maxim that she is well. And the promise is a promise.

When he entered his comrade's room in the medical wing he felt a little bitter. He didn't liked the idea of any man around Victoria. Not one of his best friend's...

\- Ah Timur! You finally back!

Alexandr's voice was loud and echoed in the little bit too empty room and it hurts his ears.

\- Yeah. Sorry I just visited Queenie...  
\- Oh! And how is... – Shuhrat stood up from Maxim's leg  
\- How is she?

Maxim's voice was low and flustered. He knew he fucked up in the mission. He almost died and he almost brought one of her teammates with him.

\- She will be alright. It will take a long time before she can stand again. And a lot more before she can go on missions again. But she is more concerned about you. – Timur scratched his head an chuckled. – She even screamed off my head. And she didn't let Gustave finish his report about her condition.. she demanded Doc to tell her if you are dead or not.

Everyone chuckled in the room. Yeah. That's the Queenie they all knew. Fierce. Strong. Demanding. A true Russian woman. A true Hungarian woman. The perfect mix of the two.

\- Do you remember anything, Maxim?

Alexandr sat next to the window while he watched Kapkan's face.

\- After the explosion... Not too much. My ears rang in the worst way ever. And after a few second I lost my consciousness.  
\- I only heard the full story from James and a little bit from Queenie's comm's records but... That girl is scary. After the explosion she went in full hardcore mode. She killed 9 men while she got to you. And she didn't even get injured by then. – Alexandr spoke. – 9 men alone. Without any thinking. She would kill her allies too if they cross her path. And when she found you... I never heard a scream like that before. It was so scary. Like she lost everything. She covered your body like a shield. She didn't care about her life. She only wanted to save you... And I am sure she would do this for all of us. But after I heard her comm's and how she called you...

\- How she called me?

Timur's chest tightened for the words. He didn't want to hear it again. And when he saw Maxim's panick on his face he knew he will puke if he witness the whole situation again.

\- She called you... **Lyubov***. She never called any of us like that before.  
\- She called him... What?!

Shuhrat sat back next to Maxim's leg with a pure suprise on his face and looked at the man like else in the room. Maxim's face distorted at the last sentence of Tachanka's. No way she called him like that. No way she felt like that. She is too precious. Too smart. Too pretty. She is perfect... And him? No. No way.

\- You heard her wrong. No way-

As he tried to speak he felt Timur grabs his ankle and tighten it. When he saw his comrade's face he knew he is in more fucked up situation than he ever thought.

\- You are always such a flirt with her! You always call her in the cutest pet names in the world. You... You accidentally made her fall in love with you!

Glaz's face was full red from the anger and gritted his teeth as he spoke. And it was a surprise for Maxim to see his friend like that. Glazkov was always a silent, calm friend and he only spoke if the situation needed or if someone asked something from him. But he never was angry. Not even because of some stupid romantic feelings. An yet now.. he was about to explode.  
Was he right? Did he really flirted with Victoria subconsciously? Did he called her at any pet name? Of course he called her kitten when they wrestled but he didn't mean it like that. Or did he? Did she really fall in love with him accidentally? And how could he make it right? Of course she was more than he could ever wish for... She was special for him. But he never wanted to love her more than his Allie or a really good friend. Or did he?

\- Anyway – Timur let his ankle from his grip. – She never wanted to let you know. She never wanted to force you in this situation. She never wanted to feel pity for her because of her love what you can't give back. Let. Her. Go. Roll with it Maxim. She will forget her little crush and everything will be fine again.

Then Glaz left the room. Kapkan's heart beated fast from his thoughts and his gastric spasmed to the half of it's size. He didn't understand his comrade's reaction for this whole situation and he didn't understand his own feelings... And he didn't even noticed when Fuze and Tachanka left.  
He was left alone with his thoughts. And he couldn't even imagine that 2 rooms from his Victoria cries as a baby, afraid from the future. The future what only God knows what it holds for the two broken people. _Love? Rejection?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Lyubov = love (sby's loved one)
> 
> Hi there!
> 
> As I promised here is an another chapter for you. I really tried to make it longer than the first one. And I really tried to have a correct grammar, but please forgive me if there is any incorrect sentence or verb or anything are in it. 
> 
> I promise that nothing will be easy for these two lovebirds, and believe me when I say that! ;)
> 
> As always comments and critics are appreciated! ♥ 
> 
> Take care! ;) ♥


	5. Chapter three - Brave enough

_They say that everyone's time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped in a dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart an intuition._

The days passed so slowly and the clock on the wall ticked so annoyingly. Every minute went awfully painful and the silence in the medical wing was depressing. Victoria thought she will be insane if she can't do anything. Of course her teammates visited her so often, talked with her about their days and the missions, but nothing was really interesting to her. Her mind was somewhere else. At her last mission, at her actions, at her words... And she could only think about Maxim.  
She didn't ask anybody about him since she woke up and had a little argument with Timur. And nobody told her about him. Not even the Russians.  
The Russians... Shuhrat visited her as often as he could. Every morning, afternoon and even in the evening. Alexandr only went to see her every second day. Like he was afraid from her. And Timur? He's not visited her since their disagreement. And it broke her heart into more pieces than it already had.  
She couldn't cry anymore. Her tears stopped days after her awakening. Of course she ached to see her crush, to see he is really alright. She believed Glaz and Doc, but she wanted to see him with her own eyes. But would it be a good idea? She didn't know how much he remembered, how much they told him about her actions and her words. How much did he hate her because of her stupid childish feelings... and besides her wishing to see Maxim she knew it would be a little impossible right now in her condition. Gustave said her wound was healing pretty fast and beautifully but she couldn't do more than sitting - although it hurt like hell sometimes. But she could not lay all day.  
_And how many days passed since she was there?_ The truth is she didn't count it anymore. It could be a week? Maybe two? Only the "outworlders" knew...  
She gritted her teeth as she tried to sit up on her bed and tried to sit on the side of it. She wanted to stand on her leg. She wanted to try it. It's not like her right leg didn't work, right? She should try...  
She gasped in pain as the matress' side pushed her leg. She could swear her vision went white for a few seconds.  
She could only think of Maxim. How was he feeling? Was he in pain? Did he think about her?

\- Stupid! - talked to herself  
\- Excuse me?

She grabbed her head up to the voice. She could barely breath when she saw the man at her door.

\- Ma-Maxim! What are you...

She whispered as she tried to make her lungs work again. Her heart in her chest beated so fast. She could barely believe her eyes. Maxim was handsome as always, he had a fresh, new scar on his face. His unshaved face made her face redden at the sight. He was more perfect than ever. Was it even possible?  
Her eyes wandered lower at his body but she couldn't see anything under his big shirt.

\- I should ask you the same question. Gustave told me that you should stay in bed at least one more week!  
\- You asked him about me?  
\- Yeah. I needed to know how you are.  
\- Why?  
\- You saved my life. I needed to know how are you?!

Of course. He only wanted to be sure because of the mission. Not because any more childish reasons. He doesn't love her! Why would he?

\- And... How are you? - whispered Victoria

Her eyes saddened and her chest tightened. Why was he there? He could ask about her from Shuhrat or anybody else? She didn't want to face the truth that she is only his comrade.

\- The wound beneath my ribs is a quite painful. But nothing I could not bare.  
\- Glad to hear. I mean that you are okey.

She looked down to her left leg and the bandage on it. The same for her. Quite painful. But nothing she couldn't bare. Except the pain in her chest and in her lungs. And the pain between her legs. Oh god. He made her so vulnerable in this state too. She wanted him more than anything. But she knew it's impossible. That is never going to happen.  
She jumped when Kapkan reached beneath her jaw with two fingers and lifted up her head. She bit down her upper lip, and tried to not look directly to his eyes. It would be the end of her.

\- So where did you wanted to go?

His breath caressed her cheeks and she blushed deeply from the closeness of his face to hers.

\- Just wanted to stand up a little bit. My back is aching from the laying. My right leg is totally workable.

His arm slid down to her legs and he caressed her left knee. She shivered in the touch and let out a low, not audible sigh. Why was he doing this? Why was he such a flirt?  
She jumped again, when he crouched before her and kissed her knee.

\- Maxim! What are you... why are you?!

Victoria's face was full red and her hands started to shake. Her whole body felt like it was on fire and she felt a delirious pain in her lungs as she barely got any oxigen in her lungs.  
But the man didn't answer. He went up and gently rubbed her thigh then planted a long, soft kiss at the top of her left leg.

\- Maxim, please!

She didn't know why she begged. She begged him to stop? She begged him to take her right now? Her mind was so cloudy. She didn't understand anything.

\- Why did you call me Lyubov?

She looked with pain at the man's face. The sudden erotica left the room and she broked when she noted that the last few moments were just Maxim's little game.

\- Why did you? You didn't fall in love with me, right?

Her throat dried as she tried to speak and she felt her tears started to fall. She hugged herself and looked deeply in the man's beautiful blue eyes. Maxim didn't show any emotion on his face, like he didn't even cared for the answer.

\- What if I told you I did? What would you do, if I told you that you are in my thoughts, in my dreams from a long ago? Any kind of dreams.. daydreams? Sexual dreams? What if then? Am I wrong? Am I wrong to have these childish feelings? Say it if you don't feel the same! Say it that I am stupid! It does not change a thing. I would save you again if I didn't feel like that! I would do it for anybody.

Victoria's voice was high as she tried to speak between two sobs. She tried to figure out what Maxim thought. Did he feel pity for her? Or...

\- You can't love me, Victoria! You are too precious. You are too pretty. You are too smart. You are too perfect. And me? I am nothing compared to you. You can't love me because I don't deserve your love!

His voice was steady and low with a little bit of sadness behind it. Her whole body shaked from his words. She was nothing what he told about her. She was everything but absolutely not those. She was the most imperfect person in the world.

\- Why do you decide what's good for me? How do you come to tell me I can't love you? I love who I want. And I.. I want you with all of your imperfections! Just tell me you don't want anything from me and I will push back my feelings inside me as I did for almost 2 years...

- **Ебать с целым!***

Her eyes went wide when he kissed her. His lips were so soft and warm, they almost burned hers. His kiss was so passionate... she melt in it. His hands cupped her cheeks and tilted her head to deepen the kiss then he licked her lower lip. When she opened her mouth his tongue went on an adventure inside. He licked her teeth, her palate...then started a wild race with her tongue.  
The room was hot and the air was heavy. The time seemed to stop. Victoria was so happy. She smiled in the kiss and cupped back his cheeks. His skin was soft and warm, same as his lips and his tongue.... _Can't they stay at this moment forever?_  
When Maxim broke the kiss they both gasped for air. Both of their faces were red and they both smiled.

\- Before you really say that you are in love with me, I want to take you out for a few dates.  
\- That's okay for me. - she chuckled  
\- And no sex for at least the third date. If we will have that many!  
\- Are you afraid that I will only love you for your gorgeous body, soldier? - she laughed - Or that you will only fall in love with my body?

Maxim started to laugh too, his deep laugh filled Victoria's heart with happiness. _Oh god._ He was everything she could ever wish for. She only felt this way in her life, but that didn't ended really well. But maybe with Maxim...

\- I am totally serious! No sex until then! And no date until you can walk steady!  
\- That's not fair. That will take so much time!- she pouted  
\- I will visit you when I can until then. And we will message each other when we can and when you are bored.  
\- And no sexting too?  
\- Oh god! - Maxim laughed still - No sexting!

Victoria invited him in a hug what he gladly accepted and wrapped his muscled hands around her thin waist. She was so little between his arms that she almost seemed too cute. But he knew she is more deadly than how she seemed. She was strong. So brave. Brave enough to save him even if it takes her life.

He kissed her a last time before he left her room. And god knows how happy he was. He wasn't this happy for a long time... And he never hoped that he will be loved again. And he didn't hoped that it will be such a wonderful woman like Victoria. And he hoped that he won't ruin it. _Like the last time..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ебать с целым! = F*CK it all!
> 
> Hi there my wonderful people!
> 
> Here is an another chapter of my story. I hope you liked it!  
> My say is the same as at the last two chapter - please don't hate me for the grammar. I will read it through for a few times and if I find any error then I will correct it! The Russian words from a translator because sadly I don't speak any Russian so if there is any problem with it, please tell me! ❤️
> 
> I thought it need a little happy beginning for these two before the drama! ;)
> 
> As always the critics and the comments are appreciated!  
> Stay safe! ❤️


	6. Chapter four - Everything is too beautiful

They say when you don't see any exit from the solitude, from the depression, when you are the most desperate to find happiness, when you almost give up on life... That's when you will find a sudden happiness. Victoria never ever believed this statement. Still she was there in the heaven... at least she felt like it was the heaven. The big lettered HEAVEN. 

Her leg healed so beautifully. She could almost stand alone. Almost. She still needed some support. But everybody was so helpful with her. Especially Maxim. Because he was true to his words. He visited her. Everyday. Of course not in the daytime. Only at night. When everybody slept.

He just sneaked to her room and filled her heart with happiness. And he still visited her when his wounds healed almost perfectly and Gustave dismissed him to his room from the medical wing. But he didn't cared. He went to see her around 11pm every night. And they talked about anything. Anything what came up. Any theme. Except their love life before each other. Victoria didn't feel to share her past lovers to him. Not yet. And yet Maxim. So that was the only theme which they didn't bring up. 

\- So, Doc said I can leave tomorrow to my room!

The woman's face lit up and smiled like when Maxim kissed her. She smiled because that meant she was almost there in the healing process when she and Maxim would go on their first date. She just needed to walk steady. 

\- I'm glad to hear. It will be easier to sneak into your room than sneak into this room. Gustave almost noticed me when he left. 

Yeah. Nobody knew about their fling. Not yet. Not a soul. And they didn't want anybody to know until they are ready to say... that's it. That's a pure love. That's a relationship. Not until the third date. Not until...

\- Hey Maxim. 

Victoria looked down on the man who sat next to her bed and massaged her left feet. He was so sweet. So handsome. His brown hair was a mess and his blue eyes shined like a star in the pale light which ruled the room. She was sure she can't fall in love with him more. Still she fell in love with him even more each second.

\- **да, принцесса?***

There. She almost fell off from the bed when she heard his russian words. Could he be more sexier than this? His russian accent was a thing. But his word on his mother language.... _OH GOD, SAVE HER!_

\- Stop it! - she let out a low moan as she started to laugh

\- **что я должен остановиться?*** \- he smirked

\- You know it. I can't ask you my question when you are like that!

\- Sorry. What's wrong, kitten?

\- Maxim... Why did you suggest the third date until we... You know..

She reddened like a tomato on her own words. She wasn't prude. Oh no. She was absolute no. She just got embarassed when she thought _how he will go down on her, how he will..._

\- You are so eager. - he laughed - You want to know why? 

She nodded and she dropped her eyes to her feet which was in the man's hands. She and her fucking mouth. She and her fucking desires.

\- Believe me when I say - she saw when he stood up before her, and the next thing she realised that she was bend down on her bed with Maxim above her - I would make you mine now. I would take you. Deep and slow. 

His face was so close to hers she could barely breath. Her heart pounded so fast when she felt his chest brushed against her breasts. Her skin burned beneath him. And god. His words didn't help either. 

\- Then... - she gulped and tried to not look into his lust filled, dark eyes - Why not?

He moaned when he felt her crotch flushed against his. Yeah. She was too eager. And if he wouldn't be careful he would really take her right there on the hospital's bed. Her scent clouded his mind, and when he felt that she didn't wear any bra and her hardened nipples pressed against his chest... God. She was the pure sexuality.

\- Because I don't want you to regret the whole thing. I want you to think about it. I want you to be patient. And believe me when I say... If we'll get there. You won't regret to wait. It will worth your wait!

When he retreated from her body and sat back on the chair he had to adjust himself in his pants because he throbbed so painfully that he could barely think normally. He was amazed about the woman's sight before him. Her body still laid on the bed, her chest moved so fast, her nipples still showed beneath the thin material of her shirt and her bare legs opened before him. His eyes wandered to her clothed womanhood. The only thing which separated him from the most beautiful thing is her small shorts and her who knows what kind of underwear. Did she wear any... or?

\- You... - she cleared her throat - You will be the end of me.

\- Same for you!

It was so cute how she laughed while she sat up the bed. Her face was full red, her eyes glowed in the poor light, her lips aparted as she breathed and _god_. Her breast hardly fitted to her shirt and her skin was so wet. Just from that. Was it because of him or was it because of any man?  
The next thing he recognised that she was in his arms, her lips pressed against his, her chest flushed on his chest and her skin burned. 

\- You know... You told me no sexting - she sighed in the kiss - but you are how make all the things so hard with jumping on me like that...

\- I told you... I can hardly moderate myself around you!

He laughed as he pushed her back to the bed while kissing. Her kiss was so sweet, like the sweetest wine. Sweet and painfully narcotic. 

\- It's getting pretty late, you know. - he murmured to the kiss. - I should go. 

\- Tomorrow... Will you... - she tried to part from him - Will you visit me again?

\- **всегда.***

She smiled while she sat back on the bed. Maxim tried to adjust him again in his sweatpants and hoped she wouldn't notice his obvious bulge. She will be really the end of him.

\- Good night, kitten!

He kissed her forehead and waved to her while he exited the room. Victoria hugged herself and smiled like an idiot. Of course she noticed the man's erection. How could she not? She noticed back then when he was above her. She was happy because she knew he desired her. He wanted her. But she wanted more. She wanted him to love her. Not only her body. Her whole self. 

\----------

\- You should try to walk alone, but if you don't feel steady, please sit down as soon as you can. Don't overwork your leg. If you feel any pain then take these pills and if they won't help then come back as fast as you can. One week from now you have to take a controll and we will see how much time do you need to get back on missions. Any question?

\- No, _papa_! - Victoria laughed - I mean, thank you Gustave. I will notify you if anything is not right. 

Doc just smiled on her "petname". Yeah. He was overprotective with his friends. But sometimes it was really needed. 

\- Can I go now? - she stood up - Will you assist me to my room, **s'il vous plaît***?

\- **Je voudrais, ma dame!*** But sadly I have so much paperwork to do. But Elias will soon arrive, and he will help you!

\- Did I just hear my name?

The german man stood at the door with a big, full mouthed smile. If she wasn't in love with Maxim, she would go totally crazy for him. For sure. 

\- Finally out from the prison, **liebling?***

She laughed at his sentence while she stood next to the bed and grabbed her bag - which was not in her hands for a solid two seconds. Elias took it out from her hands and put it on his shoulder while offered his free hand for her - which she happily accepted. They nodded to Gustave then left the room.

\- So... Did you talk with Maxim? 

\- Excuse me? - her face reddened at his question

How much did he knew? From who? From Maxim? No... No way! He would never...

\- You were too concerned about his condition and wanted to see him more than anything. That's why I ask... Did he visited you?

\- N-No! - she stuttered - We didn't talk yet. I am afraid I-I scared him!

She hated to lie. She hated to lie to one of her best friends. One of her-

\- Don't be stupid! - he chuckled - Noone could be ever scared from you. Of course, you can be scary. But we know you are the most kind hearted person in the world. That's why were you so precious to me back then.

\- You are too kind, Elias! - she blushed

The rest of the walk was silent. She hoped she wasn't so transparent with her little lie. She couldn't imagine what would Maxim think if she would tell anybody their "little thing". What would Elias think of her? What would Timur...  
She stopped her steps and Blitz watched her with concern. But she didn't care. How could he forget about Timur? How could he forget about... her? He didn't visited her since they came back from the mission. Since her tantrum. 

\- Victoria! Is there a problem? Do you have any pain? Vic-

\- Elias. Where is Timur?

She swallowed hard. She hoped he was on a mission. That he didn't hate her. 

\- He is in his room. Why? Why is it so important so suddenly?- his voice sounded surprised

\- No-Nothing important. Just didn't see him a really long time ago. I thought he is on a mission.

She swallowed down her tears and the pain in her chest. She still longed to him. She still...

\- Should we visit him? Would you like to-

\- NO! - she shouted suddenly and scared even herself - I mean. I think he is probably asleep or doing something. He doesn't like if someone visit him uninvited. I will... I will talk to him tomorrow!

Blitz nodded and jerked her a little bit. She nodded and started to walk again. Victoria tried to not think about Timur. Not to think about anybody. Even Maxim. She just wanted to get into her room, take a good shower then sleep. Sleep until the morning. She didn't care about her crush's planned visit. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to disappear. The same anxious feeling found her again. Like a long time ago... _Could she just die? Could she...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **да, принцесса? = Yes, princess?**
> 
>  
> 
> **что я должен остановиться? = What should I stop?**
> 
>  
> 
> **всегда = Always.**
> 
>  
> 
> **s'il vous plaît = Please**
> 
>  
> 
> **Je voudrais, ma dame! = I would, my lady!**
> 
>  
> 
> **liebling = darling**
> 
>  
> 
> _Hello there, my loves! ♥_
> 
>  
> 
> _I am here again with a new horrid chapter of my misery. But I hope you liked it! The story will be starting to take a sudden turn soon, I promise! ♥_
> 
>  
> 
> _I hope I can give you an another chapter soon, but I will start at my new work tomorrow so I don't know how much free time will I have! :(_
> 
>  
> 
> _As always comments and critics are appreciated! ♥_
> 
>  
> 
> _Take care! ;) ♥_


	7. Chapter five - You can't run

"PTSD nightmares aren't always exact replays of the event. Sometimes they replay the emotions you felt during the event, such as fear, helplessness and sadness." - Alice Cariv

\-----

_She ran as fast as she could. Her heartbeat was so loud that it rang in her ears, her lungs hurt as she tried to breath. She ran. She didn't know where. Or why. She just sprinted like a champion. When she tried to stop her legs didn't answer. She was tired. She just wanted to why was she running... Then she finally stopped. And suddenly her breathing was normal like she just stood there a whole time. Victoria looked around but didn't see anything. Everything was dark and silent._

_\- How could you do that? How could you do that, with him?_

_The deep manly voice surprised her. Where did it come from? From who?_

_\- You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't lie._

_An another voice rang around her. Those two voice were too familiar to her but she didn't know where from. Her chest started to ache. Her heart clenched._

_\- It's all your fault._

_Her eyes filled with tears when she saw the two men's figure before her. The two russian stood next to each other and smiled. She tried to go closer to them but her body didn't respond._

_\- It's all your fault. - echoed again_

_That one sentence echoed on and on like casette which stucked in the radio. She tried to cover her ears as her tears fell down on her face. It's not true! She didn't do anything! She..._

_\- Look at us, kitten! Look what you did!_

_Her whole body shaked as she looked at them. And she wished she didn't look at all. Maxim's torso soaked in blood, same as his handsome face, but he still smiled at her. Next to him, Timur's left arm and left eye missed and his right leg was wet from his blood.  
Victoria tried to scream but no voice left her mouth. She just wanted it to be gone. She wanted it to end. No way it's all her fault. NO WAY!_

_She dropped down to her knees and the only thing what left her mouth were her screams. She cried and tried to not look at the men. NO WAY! NO WAY! NO-_

A loud knock awaken her from her nightmare. She still screamed like in her dream, her whole body covered in a thick layer of sweat and her chest pounded so heavily in her chest - she was afraid it will stop at any moment.  
She cried so loudly while she sat up on the bed. Her hands shaked crazily. Her dream scared the hell out of her. Victoria's mind was dizzy and she jumped in fear when she heard an another, agressive knock on her door.

\- Queenie! Open up, please! Or I will kick your door in!

The voice's sounded so worried and the person at the door's another side was so desperate to get in. She slowly pushed herself up from the bed, didn't care about the pain in her left leg and the shakiness in her body. Her powerless left arm opened the lock on her door before she dropped to her butt and continued to cry.  
The door slumped open with a loud crack and she felt two strong arms around her torso. 

\- Everything is alright! I am here, kitten!

She put her hands around the man's neck and cried to his neck. She felt so weak. She felt her dream so real. She could do anything to forget it. Anything.

\- Come, let's get back to your bed!

\- NO! I d-don't want it! I-I can't!- she stuttered under her tears

\- Would you like me to stay with you?

The man slowly lifted up Victoria from the floor and slided his hands beneath her knees then he carried her like a bride. Like a princess like she deserved to feel. When she didn't answer he let out a low sigh and left her room with the woman in his hands. He stopped while he closed the room's door then after a few steps he entered his room. God. She felt nothing between his arms. She was weightless. She was like a fragile porcelain doll and he held without any strenght.  
He kicked his door close then put her down on his bed. She didn't cry anymore but she shaked like a leaf in the cold breeze. She shaked in her whole body. Shaked and her breath was so quick it scared him even more. Yes. He was scared because he never seen the girl like this before. Victoria never cried or never showed her pain. She was always strong, brave and she always smiled. That's why he started to like her a really long time ago - and he didn't even noticed.

The smart people always said that there are 10 stages of falling in love with one person.  
**Firstly** you realize you maybe like that person more than just a friend. They make you happy everytime you see them.  
The **second part** is when they constantly in your thoughts. You usually overfill your coffee cup because you're thinking about them, your eyes glaze over in class or during a meeting at work because you're trying to determine your next step... they fill your every waking thought, and might even keep you from proper sleep at night.  
The **third stage** is when you start to adore their every move. When everything is perfect what they do. They are perfect for you and you don't see any of their imperfections - because there are any for you in that moment.  
Then it comes to the **fourth stage** when you feel awkwardness around them. You can barely breath, you feel shy and you are always a blushing mess.  
Then there is the **fifth part**. Where they were right now. At the increased intimacy. They fill your thoughts' with so much erotic things involuntarily. You dream about making love with them. Not just dreaming. You want to make love with them. Every way... Then you make sudden, brave, bold moves. Like when he bend her bent her over with his body yesterday at the medical wing...

\- Sleep, princess. I will be here, but on the floor.

\- No, please no! - she grabbed his wrist - Stay with me. On the bed! Please!

\- Are you sure? You are scared... Maybe you are in pain! I don't know which one!

His voice was frightened when he talked. He scared from himself. There was a reason why he didn't want any sexual intercourse until the third. He was scared that he couldn't keep the control. Even if she was in that stage.

\- Maxim... Please!

She looked into his eyes under her tears. _Shit._ Her face was puffy and red, her lips trempled as she spoke and her eyes were filled with so much sadness. Where did the happy girl from yesterday go? He didn't like the broken version of the woman. It broke his heart because he knew he can't help her.  
He sighed then lied next to her warm body and pulled her in for a hug. She snugged next to his side, her breast pushed against the side of his chest, her shaking arm at the top of his chest, and her legs pushed tightly to his legs. Her head rested on his shoulder... her shampoo's scent was so pleasant, it smelled like the fresh apricot at the summertime, mixed with her own scent which was sweet as a sugarcube. 

\- I had a nightmare. You - she bit down her lips when he thought about the another man - you were in it. You were injured, your whole body soaked in blood. And the voices told me that is all of my fault. I couldn't help you. I...

She started to cry again and Maxim hugged her strongly. His palm caressed her upper arm, his lips pressed against the top of her head. It broke him the hear she was blaming herself for his own fault. 

\- Look kitten, it was just a really bad dream. We all have these kind of dreams. That's what make us human. You have feelings. An when you won't have those dreams that will be the end of everything. That's when you should retire. And until then? I know it's bad. It'll be always. Sometimes it will hurt more. - Maxim kissed her head - But stay in the now. I am here because of you. I am here and I couldn't be more happier and you know what?

\- What? 

She lifted up her head and looked at him with such curiosity that he melted in the moment. She was the most beautiful thing in the whole world. And she was between his arms. He was so lucky.

\- We discussed it will be nothing until our dates. And? You are here in my bed, in my arms, her hot body pressed against me. 

She chuckled and buried her face to his armpit. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt on his chest and laughed. 

\- Not to forget - he continued - You closed your door when you knew I will visit you! Do you know how scared was I when heard you scream? Everybody in our barrack came out from their room. Alexandr sweared that somebody is killing you. He said you screamed like back then when you found me half-dead. Shuhrat wanted to breach your door - he chuckled - And Timur? He was too shocked he just stood before his door and looked forward like he saw a ghost. You scared us.

\- I will apologize to everybody tomorrow - Victoria bit down her lower lip - I am so sorry.

He didn't say anything, just tilted her head up with his free hand then softly pressed his lips against hers. Maxim was gentle, his lips felt nothing against Victoria's lips but still it was a perfect kiss between two lovers. Everything happened so slowly it felt like the time paused just for them... and how knew a nightmare can turn into something prefect like this?  
She cupped his face and kissed him with more power. Maxim's hand wandered to her round hips and the next thing she noticed she sat on top of him, her two legs around his wide torso and their lips perfectly fitted together. She wasn't scared anymore. She felt the adrenaline rush through her veins, her whole body was ready to go further. She wanted more. Wanted more of him... _So much more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! ♥
> 
> I am here again with a new chapter. I want you to know I am grateful for the almost 100 reads and love all of you! :)
> 
> As I always say please forgive me for the mistakes, I will re-read the chapter again for a few times and if I find any mistake I will correct it! ♥
> 
> As always comments and critics are appreciated! ♥
> 
> Take care until next time! ;) ♥


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